D is for ...

How do I Define myself? (In Conjunction with International Women's Day)

Who do I say that I am? When asked this, it brought back to mind, a recent conversation with my gal pals; one of them told me about a person she knows that did not seem to have a life outside of her job. No hobbies to speak of, only a handful of friends and even when she would be wise to do so, she refused to stay away from work to rest or recuperate. Now, I don't know this person and therefore I could be mistaken, but it struck me that she might be someone who defines herself solely by the major role she plays in life--her job.

It's extremely easy to get our identities tangled up in our roles at work, or how others may perceive us to be. We end up believing that we are what we do. Undoubtedly this turns out to be a lethal concoction for serious self-limitations and a life-long identity trauma. So, my question is, "What happens to your identity when there is a job switch or when the role ends so that you can no longer identify with it? I often hear of people (perhaps you know some or you could be one of the statistics) who reach a point in life when suddenly they begin to question what they believe about themselves. For example, the high-powered executive who loses her job and its perks when her services are no longer required, or the overdoting parents who never looked outside their roles as mom or dad, and instead found themselves "directionless" when the kids leave home. The all-existential question "Is that all there is?" begins to rear its head, and there are no immediate answers when they've spent all their lives defining themselves primarily as the thing they do.

Hey, we should not view ourselves as such. However it is easy to develop habits such as to pin labels to describe ourselves or to define others. We say them so effortlessly, often than not, we come to think of ourselves and others in one-dimensional terms. "Oh, he's my dentist" or "She's a secretary." And there are even those who describe themselves as "I'm an Atheist" or "I'm a member of the Opposition" and that truly is self-limiting. And how about people we do not like, whom we viciously label as "he's a loser," or "she's a bimbo." Besides the obvious conflicts that such negative labels generate, the danger lies in the fact that we may begin to see others as that and eventually we'll treat them as such. We are not our jobs, our positions in society, our bank balances, or any other possible descriptors. We are human beings, not human doings. We need to be reminded to see ourselves (and others) in large, generous terms.

"So who are you?" Try to define yourself in terms of something besides your job, or a certain group whose beliefs and members you identify with. Learn to recognize that no labels, however broad could ever fully capture the unique, one-of-a-kind essence you. Learn to explore the vast possibilities that will come when we let go of limiting one-dimensional labels of ourselves and of others! Imagine the gifts that could be unleashed into our world when we begin to see ourselves and everyone around us as unique! Take a peek in this box labelled "YOU" and uncover hidden treasures when you dare to give up those lame "job description" versions of yourself . The world is waiting for YOU.