My Sign says..

You are 80% Aries

How Aries Are You?

And Some Say I'm Clueless...

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone. You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well. Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

TGIF - Who's to blame for the Mas Selamat circus frenzy?

1. Blame It On The Boogie - The Jacksons
2. Blame It On The Rain - Milli Vanilli
3. Blame It On The Sun - Lauryn Hill
4. No One Is to Blame - Howard Jones
5. It Wasn't Me - Shaggy
and last but not least ..

6. Blame It On The Boogie - Big Fun

My secret remedy.

"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear."
-Mark Twain

Stupidity, Lies, Injustice and.. a Temper Tantrum.

I've been accused of throwing a temper tantrum. That's right, a downright nasty tantrum. I've been accused of attacking another (not physically - mind you), because I had a tantrum. I admit, I did that out of frustration. And I get upset when I am not being listened to, heard, or cut off and talked over, before I can finish my thoughts and expressions, even if my voice is calm and focused, in the beginning. There are those who have the ability to attack and maligne others, so sublimely, without raising a vocal chord. Don't get me wrong, they have vocal cords and do use them, in an uproarious fashion, at their own discretion. Until I use my own, at my discretion. Suddenly the tables are turned, and I am the villain.

It's always been a major thing for me, to be understood. I can't stand dishonesty, in any form, shape or fashion. Or misrepresentation, of myself, by another... which, to me, is just another form of lying. If someone misrepresents me, to another, I take that as an insult and a personal attack on my character. And I will defend my character, though my communication skills with regards to how I defend that part of myself can sometimes be rather poor.

I'm not really a hard person to understand. And if you want to know how I feel about something, or why I did or said something, all you need to do is ask me. I am as open as they come, I hide nothing of who I am. I am the sort who feels that hiding and denying gets no one nowhere fast. And that the only way to find resolve, with anything, is to be open and honest. But, why is it that I always find myself surrounded with those who cannot be honest? They say birds of a feather flock together. Am I not being honest? Or am I just on a learning stage, set up to learn how to walk away from dishonesty, and those who embody traits of that sort?

Perhaps I would not become so upset if those, in my life, would listen to my heart... hear my reasoning... listen to my words, take them for the reality that they are ... and believe them. After all, who better, than myself, can truly understand my heart? Often, in relationships, people have to dig and dig to get someone to open up and express their emotions. Not so, with me. I'm easy. I lay it out on the table. This is who I am. This is how I feel. But, please, do not attempt to try and tell me how I feel... or where an emotion is sourcing from, because you don't know... and lies and accusations about who I am, and what I am feeling... whether communicated to myself, or spoken to another... are just not working for me.

It surrounds me, everywhere. In the work place, where some of my co-workers, including my superiors, are on some sort of huge ego trip, spilling out power and control, by the bucket loads, lying, misrepresenting. I'm not simply talking about power struggles they have... I'm talking about power struggles within many other of my co-workers, that they have. The atmosphere, there, it is unbelievable. Others who have been added to our working environment have noted the low degree of good morale in our office... so, it's not just me who sees and feels these things. And it's sad, really. Sad that the energy has to be this way. And sad that we remain, to experience this over and over, daily. You either have to be slick enough to fool the powers that be, enough to get on their good side, so that you are in the club (or make them think you are)... or you have to just lay extremely low and follow through with the mass confusion of ideas and information that gets disseminated there... and end up getting nothing right, and risk looking like a fool, because only God knows that these power hungry people have it right... or so they think and hence the confusion carries over, day after day. And I'm basically, a strong person, who defends herself, and who refuses to accept stupidity, lies and denial as answers. Can you imagine what happens to the weak ones who are totally powerless and can't, don't or won't defend themselves? It's not pretty; and I feel for them.

How do these things go on? How is it possible that people live like this daily? There are many and sundry reasons why people get caught up and remain in these sorts of energy whirlwinds.

I, for one, believe that everything we experience is a lesson/growth experience in our living. So.... then... what is the reason that I have remained, for so long, in such uproarious situations?

Maybe it is just so that I can say, "I don't want this anymore. I don't choose this anymore. And I am not going to live this anymore."

I no longer want to give my power over to another, so that I am able to be thrown off center. I no longer want to walk on egg shells. I no longer want to struggle with the emotions of seeking and needing approval.

I want to exist in Peace. I want to BE. I want to be in the energy of acceptance, not struggle. I no longer want to lose my temper. I no longer want to experience the need to lose my temper.

I really don't want this anymore.

G is for ....

Get To Know Me.

OK..so I saw this on one of J's posts (I'm slowly getting through all of everyone's blogs) and decided to post it for myself (even though a lot of my answers are the same- great minds, right J?)

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:

1. CK (my initials)
2. Chris
3. and I used to get "Junebug" for a spell because of my email address.

***

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. my C-cups ;-)
2. Hair
3. my shoulders.

***

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:

1. Stomach
2. Feet
3. Arms

***

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:

1. Chinese
2. Malay Peranakan
3. Eurasian (I think)

***

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:

1. Clowns- there is nothing scarier than a clown
2. Being alone during thunderstorms
3. Flying cockroaches.

***

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:

1. Shower
2. Sleep (lots of it)
3. Starbucks Caramel Macchiato (I know, it's a yuppie kinda drink, but it's liquid crack)

***

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:

1. purple tank top
2. black underwear
3. ummm...I'm at home, so that's all I'm wearing

***

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE MUSICALS:

1. Les Miserables
2. Starlight Express
3. Phantom of the Opera

***

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:

1. Annie's Song - John Denver
2. For the Longest Time- Billy Joel
3. Mad World - Tears for Fears

***

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:

1. Trust
2. Honesty
3. Unconditional Love

***

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:

1. Humor
2. Hands
3. Eyes

***

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:

1. Reading
2. Movies
3. Working out (really, it's true)

***

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:

1. A car
2. To find that special someone
3. a really, really good... uummmmm....massage ;-)

***

THREE CAREERS YOU ARE CONSIDERING:

1. To run my own business
2. To co-own a business
3. To be a writer

***

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:

1. Fiji Islands- so peaceful!
2. Maldives
3. Hawaii

***

THREE KID NAMES YOU LIKE:

1. Paris
2. Britney
3. Mary-Kate

(HAHA; just kidding! Actually I've never given it much thought)

***

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. To be able to sleep without worrying about Money
2. To visit Russia
3. Be able to pay my mom back all the money I've borrowed from her over the years

***

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:

1. love dresses, shoes, bags and the color pink
2. to over-analyse things
3. flirting with the dudes.

***

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A DUDE:

1. Impatient.
2. I'm very direct and to the point and I hate when people dance around a topic.
3. Agressive driver.

***

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:

1. George Clooney
2. Kevin Bacon
3. Matthew McConaughey

An Engineer Explains Cat.

Random Thought of the Day

The first ever blogger... A completely stream-of-consciousness conversation here at work today allowed me to realize that the first blog ever belonged to Mr. Doogie Howser, M.D.

Remember how every episode ended with him typing in his little computer diary? He was so ahead of his time.Granted, Al Gore hadn't invented the internet yet, but still... a trendsetter from the beginning. Yay, Doogie!

Tell me something.

Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.

- Gilbert Chesterton

Things I Wish I had been Told when I was 17

I have a semi-recurring dream when I go back in time and talk to my younger self but I always end up trying to convince myself that it's really me instead of giving myself advice. If that were possible, this is what I would tell myself:

1) There is no "perfect" man that will sweep me off my feet and we'll live happily ever after. In fact, you'll probably date quite a few more "perfect" guys until you realize there is no perfect person, just a person that's perfect for you. The person who finally gets you in a way that not even your parents or your best friend ever did. And there's no way you can predict who that will be until it happens.

2) You have a really great body. You're not fat.

3) Go to a career counsellor. Before you choose your career path, before you start taking useless classes, talk to someone who can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. Or at least someone who can make different suggestions. I didn't know half of these careers existed until after I'd finished college.

4) Don't start drinking.

5) High School really doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the close friends you make who will stand by you when you are 80. The greatest thing about high school is finding out what really happened while you were worried what people thought of you. It's sitting at a bar a few years later, running into an old friend and they tell you who was a drug addict, who had major problems, and who got really hot.

6) The people who look like they have it all figured out, never really do.

7) The problems you think you have now are nothing compared to the problems you're going to have later.

8) Study; just a little bit harder. Yes, it's hard. There's a party tonight, but trust me when I say there will be many more parties. Grades Do matter. While you're at it, tell your mom you want to take guitar lessons instead of piano lessons.

9) Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. These are the best years of your life, you look great. Enjoy the time you have while you don't have to work to pay your rent or mortgage -- it's a beautiful feeling. Growing up is good because you finally get to do what you want to do without having to listen to your mom and what she wants you do do. But in the end, after endless fights and phone calls, you may do what you want to do but you'll still want to make her proud.

10) And my last few tips: stop eating so much goddamn junkfood; Instant Ramen, burgers, pizzas and Cokes are not part of a well balanced diet; if someone gives you a Mountain Dew just chug it before you can actually taste it; eat a good meal before you go out drinking (trust me on this one); save some money...but buy the suede jacket at Guess, I'll always regret not buying it; and you know that guy you have a crush on (you know who I'm talking about) talk to him and ask him out.

70% Catwoman

You Are: 30% Dog, 70% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common. You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude. However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

I'm a Glazed Doughnut! (it's a sign from above)

You Are a Glazed Donut

Okay, you know that you're plain - and you're cool with that. You prefer not to let anything distract from your sweetness. Your appeal is understated yet universal. Everyone dig you. And in a pinch, you'll probably get eaten.

What Donut Are You?

Working Sixty Hours, but Getting Paid for Forty!

It's always easy to change your life. Really! Changing jobs is a snap; all you need is to summon the will to do the work required to stop working in one place and start working in another. However, even the most determined, need breaks, some more than others. And I can't seem to catch one.

Sleep is the best break there is. Sleep, as we all know, is the best way to recharge your batteries. Even if you're a slow riser like me, eventually your brain wakes up and feels like it can take on what the universe will toss at you for the next 14-16 hours. My brain doesn't wake up, for the simple reason that it didn't relax in the first place.

I dream a lot. And my dreams are extremely vivid, colorful, and lifelike. I've dreamed entire movies and at least a half-dozen BSG episodes. I meet fascinating people whom I've never met when awake. I wake up sleepy but satisfied, although I occasionally stumble over memories stemmed from reality or from dreams.

This graphic alternate universe, unfortunately, does pain me at times, and I end up with troubling, stressful dreams that make me even more fried getting out of bed than getting into it. These times intersect with particularly stressful times at work. What happens is: I work my eight unhappy, stress-filled hours, get home, eat dinner, go to bed...and work for another eight unhappy, stress-filled hours.

My dreamtime job history parallels my own. For some reason, however, my dreamtime jobs consist mostly of bars and restaurants, jobs which I haven't worked at in years. Sometimes the dreams don't place me at work, but instead getting lost trying to get to work, or sometimes being "woken up" (yes, I have multi-layered dreams) by a phone call asking me why I'm not at work.

Dreams like these coil with endless roads, trains, maps of bus lines that seem to make no sense. (Then again, I've dreamt of roads, paths, etc. since I was a child) When I do dream of the current workplace, it has grown into a giant conglomerate, and I'm either trying to close the place and get people out, or trying to having a bizarre phone conversation with my clients, or whatever floats my dreamy little boat. Small wonder that, when I finally wake up, I feel the need to avoid anything job-related.

Everyone has these dreams. However, the more stressed I am at "real" work, the more frequent these dreams occur. Sometimes I'll have several in one night. There's no escape.

Maybe it's an excuse not to look for work with more diligence. But even dreamers need some rest. Someday I hope I acquire some.

TGIF..

Which CD would most likely be the best for the following:

A Road Trip:Tom Petty's Greatest Hits
A Good Mood:The Housemartins, Now That's What I Call Quite Good
A Bad Mood: Metallica, Kill 'Em All
Chilling Out: Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon
Shooting Pool: Pearl Jam, Ten
A Down Mood: Nick Drake, Five Leaves Left
Going for a Walk: Fleetwood Mac, Rumors

RIP

My favorite movies by this legendary actor includes:
1. The Greatest Show on Earth
2. The Ten COmmandments
3. Ben-Hur
4. Julius Caesar

What do you think?

I love little personality tests.

This one really cracked me up. It was written by Freud and I'm not his biggest fan, but my results were surprisingly accurate.Interested?

Write down or think of your answers- you don't need to post them in the comments as you may be a little embarrassed by them. Don't over-think your answers. Just list whatever comes to mind.

What is your favorite color? (If you don't have one, pick the first one that comes to mind) List 5 adjectives to describe the color (eg. red=powerful)

What is your favorite animal (or first that comes to mind)? List 5 adjectives to describe it. (eg. tiger=ferocious)

What is your favorite body of water (or first that comes to mind)? List 5 adjectives to describe it. (eg. river=fast)

Lastly, picture yourself in a dark room with no windows or doors. You notice there is a light coming through a small hole in the wall. How do you react to the light?

I'll post the answers in the comments section.

I travel not to go anywhere, but to go.

I've got the itch to travel again. It's almost a tradition for me to go on a backpacking trip somewhere every other year. Maybe it comes from my 14 years working for the airlines, and flight tickets were readily available. Unfortunately, I don't think its in the cards this time around. Instead, I plan on making more trips back to Malaysia, the country I was born in. Just because.

If I were to go to, say, Vietnam or Cambodia or Myanmar again, I think I'd like to hit a few of my favorite places like Hanoi and the Ancient Angkor city, but I would want to focus my budget and time on new places. But I'm actually really interested in Kiev and Bucharest and Nepal. Both are overlooked by tourists and have the benefit of poor economies, so travel would be cheap.

If I could figure out some way of making money along the way, either with travel photography or something else, it'd make it all seem a bit easier to justify the cost of the travel. I guess I've got this unrealistic urge to just be a traveler for a while and shoot things. Perhaps doing short trips around Asia will satiate me. Hell, even doing short trips in Malaysia does me a world of good. It's still pretty much the beginning of the year, and maybe that's why I feel the need to look at the world with fresh eyes. These days, I spend too much time looking at the inside of my house.

Oh well, I might as well post up the top 5 songs that would put me in the mood "to travel".
1. Get Out the Map - Indigo Girls
2. Road Trippin' - Red Hot Chili Peppers
3. Roam - The B-52s
4. America - Simon & Garfunkel
5. King of the Road - Roger Miller (this is an oldie but definitely a goodie)

Gentlemen, let the bidding begin!

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Midweek musings.

I drink in moderation. 'Moderation' is an imaginary place that exists wherever I am.

April, here we come!

"I see, Sir. You work at Terminal 5 and to cheer people up you gave them a merry little squirt from your joke flower before saying: " April fool. Your flight's been cancelled."

Welcome to April everybody, and for all those juveniles reading; Today is April Fool's Day. It's not really my kind of a holiday, mostly because it doesn't involve eating and drinking and dancing, but if anyone of you is into this kind of thing, a word of caution: remember that lawsuits can drag on for many years and cost you thousands of dollars. Think about that before you start getting creative.