Trust

Trust: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

You know that exercise they use in team building exercises and support meetings, the one where you fall back and the others are supposed to catch you? I have never been good at that exercise. Letting go, falling blindly into a crowd strangers makes me uncomfortable.

Trust, especially in the realm of relationships, has always been a difficult issue for me. There was a time when I gave my trust freely. Now, you have to earn my trust. My past holds too many heartaches and broken promises to trust openly. I have learned to protect myself. The walls have been built and people are granted access in stages.

I have also learned that my lack of trust can also get me in trouble. So I have been working on a balance. I think that I am getting closer to finding the perfect amount of trust to give to someone at each stage of a relationship. However, I am still waiting for that time when I can close my eyes and fall and not worry about crashing to the floor.

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