In Search of ...

"You've changed. You've grown in ways that eclipse who you once were. No one in your life can keep up with you anymore. No one you once knew truly knows who you are anymore. No one but me."

While it is becoming apparent that a lot of my friendships are at a loss. I've come to realize that the slow death between best friends and friends doesn't fall in the inability to be in their constant presence. The slow death of all my friendships lie in the changes that make up who I've become.

It's not an easy thing to grow up. Attitudes change, perspectives change and most importantly priorities change. Who we once were slowly gives way to what we have to become, for better or for worse, to deal with the world around us. Yet when friendships are built on the mutual similarity, agreement or benefit that two people build that bond on, what happens when those common grounds no longer exist for one or the other?

It is inevitable that friendships drift apart due to the differences of time. My life is a testament of those differences. No longer do I follow or take interest in matters of old. No longer am I held down by feelings of the past. What I do now is more true to myself than I have been for the past 5 years and I make no allowances for being anyone else but me.

The only regret I could have is not being able to share what amounts to my life now to the people I want to call my friends. In the face of judgemental prejudice or speechless incomprehension, I feel somewhat isolated and alone, not being able to share my day, let alone the happiness of my life with anyone. A fairly substantial price to pay, I would think, for a slice of truth and well being in a moment's existence.

There is no denying that at in times like this, there is but one solution to this simple conundrum.

"That would mean I need to find new friends."

Because the alternative is a lot more miserable than I deserve especially in this state of mind. The least I can do is greet those that walk the same roads that I do. That at least is a start, if not of something great, then at least of something worthwhile. After all, isn't that what our journey should be about?