Friday, May 30, 2008

Prognostic mirror.

I worry that I’ve never fully loved a man solely based on who he is. I weigh how he treats me, and how he feels about me, and when I like that bit all right, I jump right into “I love you.” And once that gauntlet is thrown, there’s no rewind.

But I meant, I love you… really as in… I love everything about you that loves me. I love everything about you that looks like me. I love that you love that song, too. It’s catchy. It’s also kinda like the wicked witch talking to the prognostic mirror. We love the reflection, the “likeness leads to liking” thing. The birds of a feather two-bit. I don’t know what it is anymore to really truly even like someone.

Perhaps the only way I will fall in love is to fall in like first. And how boring is that. Put it right up on the table beside the sweets, will ya?

TGIF

7 RANDOM MUSIC AT THE MOMENT:

1. I've Never Been To Me - Charlene

2. The Boys Of Summer - DJ Sammy

3. Baby Won't You Please Come Home - Louis Armstrong

4. Ain't Nobody - Rufus & Chaka Khan

5. I Love The Nightlife - Alicia Bridges

6. I Thought I Was You - Julia Fordham

7. The Unforgettable Fire - U2

Monday, May 26, 2008

I is for the ...

...figment of your Imagination

TV fast food hamburgers are a figment of your imagination. So are TV submarine sandwiches, TV pizza and TV fast food chicken.

My best buddy and I were watching TV the other day. During one of the commercials, she said "Hamburgers don't really look like that!" I wasn't paying attention, but I think it was a Burger King commercial, showing just how wonderful and super-duper their burgers are. The real thing looks a lot different, of course.

It made me wonder about our society's standards. We see a commercial like that, and we go and buy the food. And even though it doesn't look anything like what was in the commercial, we eat it anyway. And we keep going back.

McDonald's obviously has it down to a science, because the last ad I saw on McDonald's said something like "Over 99 billion served". Now, I don't know if that means 99 billion hamburgers or 99 billion people. Either way, that's really scary.

It's scary because that pretty much means the entire population of earth has visited McDonald's about 6 times. Which means that we have no standards when it comes to food. As long as it's fast and cheap, that's what matters. It doesn't matter that the food on TV looks different than the real thing. If we can get a $3 hamburger at BK's, or a 6" sub at Subway for $5, then we're happy.

Makes you think twice, huh?

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Quote of the Day

“When eating an elephant take one bite at a time”
~ Creighton Abrams

I’ve had to greatly slow down my activities this year and often get discouraged: “but how am I ever going to be the same again?” I keep asking. Of course my loved ones and acquaintances, wanting to encourage me, continually remind me to take small steps or “baby steps”. It’s a method I absolutely agree with and I use that expression a lot myself, but I just find this quote is a different and funny way of saying it. Of course it’s not meant to be taken in the literal sense, if it was I wouldn’t find it so very funny; I happen to love elephants and wouldn’t dream of chewing on one.

Five things a Woman should Know..

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Friday, May 23, 2008

TGIF

I get better over time, I'm not some Top 40 song, easily digestable. I'm complex. I require time and multiple listens.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Great Expectations.

Why is it that we try to hold people to standards that we think we meet ourselves, yet we never let them know we're expecting them to meet them? So if and when they fail to live up to our hopes/expectations, we get upset...I know many of you post on the topic of dating and relationships, so I have a question for you. What are the rules of what is fair game in someone both you and your friend are interested in? If no one has established "dibs", is it just open season and may the best man or woman win?I find myself watching this situation recently with a couple of my friends, one of whom is very open in telling me his thoughts on the topic. He feels like even though his friend didn't really know he was into the girl, the girl did, and by leading them both on, she let him down. Obviously this is helping him to move past her, but the question is whether or not its wrong that he expected her to be honorable knowing she was flirting with two good friends?He knows he wouldn't come between two friends, so can he expect others to meet his own private moral standards?

Friday, May 16, 2008

I Cannot Help You if You Refuse to Help Yourselves.

The Myanmar typhoon and China earthquake disasters happened back to back. Both suffered massive damages and loss of lives.

Yet rescue and relief efforts on both sides were starkly different.

We applaud the Chinese side pulling all stops to save as many people as possible. Even the blood banks had to stop taking donors because the blood bank is full.

Tents, donations, volunteers both foreign and local were pouring in without even a bat of an eyelid.

Yet in Myanmar, we see a Government who seemingly isn't even remotely interested to resolve this crisis in an urgent manner. Do they have something else more important to attend to than the 40,000 people dead and 2 million homeless survivors and counting?

South China Morning Post's journalist Simon Parry wrote an article of him witnessing how the aid was chucked aside once it was out of sight from the outside world.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Aid For Myanmar Waylaid Just 3km Across The Border

Convoy is met by sleepy officials in no rush to help cyclone victims

Simon Parry, May 13, 2008

Hong Kong journalist Simon Parry crossed the border into Myanmar with the first overland aid convoy for cyclone victims - what he then witnessed appalled him

It was supposed to be a moment of hope, a breakthrough in the troubled international aid effort for the hundreds of thousands of Myanmese victims of Cyclone Nargis.

Instead, I watched as the delivery of the first overland aid convoy was received with stark indifference by military officials either ill prepared or uninterested in speeding the aid to those in need.

At lunchtime on Saturday - seven days after Nargis killed an estimated 100,000-plus people and left up to 1.5 million homeless - Myanmar's junta finally allowed in two UN refugee agency (UNHCR) trucks carrying 20 tonnes of tents and plastic sheeting, enough to shelter 10,000 victims.

It had taken five days of pleading and cajoling. But at 1pm, to the undisguised delight of the aid workers, the aid was finally allowed in from Mae Sot in northern Thailand on condition no aid workers were on board.

Once across the border, the precious cargo was in military hands. UN staff prayed it would be rushed to the stricken Irrawaddy Delta where every hour is costing lives.

Sharing some of their hope, I defied a ban on foreign journalists and crossed into Myanmar with the trucks. What I witnessed was a debacle. The moment the trucks were out of sight of the border post, they were directed off the road and along a 3km dusty track to a semi-deserted monastery and pagoda.

As our taxi bumped along behind the trucks, I still expected to find army trucks and ranks of troops ready to unload the cargo and take it to the cyclone-hit communities. Instead, the cargo was received by a languid young major who was with only two other soldiers. I watched as they waved the trucks to parking bays without looking to see what they contained, then ambled back to a reception area to resume the card-playing and tea-drinking that had been interrupted. I watched to see when the relief operation would begin. But nothing happened - just elderly monks and casually dressed government officials wandering around, seeming to ignore the UN trucks.

My presence had been noticed, so I walked up and introduced myself and congratulated them on securing the aid. When would it be leaving for the disaster area, I asked? The major, Myat Hdut Aye, explained that nothing more would be happening for the time being. "It will have to wait here until tomorrow," he said, gesturing to the trucks. "Then it will be transferred by road to Yangon. We can't do anything more today."

I asked gently why it wasn't being moved immediately. Silent for a moment, he blushed before replying: "We need a big truck to carry all these things and it has to come from Yangon." So when would it arrive? He looked a little more uncomfortable and said: "We hope it will be here in time to leave early tomorrow."

As we chatted, a senior officer, who had been sleeping inside, came to the doorstep and began quizzing my driver-interpreter: "Who is this man? Is he with the UNHCR? Why is he taking pictures?"

We shook hands, retreated to our car and drove quickly back to Myawadi, across the Moei River from Mae Sot, where it was soon apparent why so little attention was being given to the arrival of the aid.

Three kilometres from the idle aid trucks, scores of rifle-toting soldiers were patrolling five polling stations for the referendum on constitutional reform - held in spite of international entreaties to delay the vote and focus on cyclone relief.

Those in Myawadi brave enough to risk arrest by speaking to me said the heavy army presence was meant to intimidate people into voting "yes", in line with the junta's wishes.

"Everyone is watched and anyone who votes `no' has been told they will be thrown in prison on Sunday morning," a market trader said.

Except for the soldiers, the polling stations were deserted.

"There are thousands of soldiers in Myawadi and many military trucks that could transport the aid," a 51-year-old restaurant owner told me bitterly. "But this regime does not care about saving people. They only care about saving themselves."

The town may have escaped the cyclone's wrath, but the storm's impact was being felt here and across the country. "People are too hungry to even think about politics," another man said. "The price of rice has more than doubled in the past week and cooking oil has trebled."

The dismal reception for the aid convoy was in stark contrast to the hard work and optimism displayed on the Thai side of the border.

"Officials in Burma have insisted on certain things and we are trying to do things the way they want us to," the UNHCR's Vivian Tan said, avoiding any criticism of the junta. "For us, the most important thing is to get the material in and to distribute it to the people who need it as quickly as we can."

Little could Ms Tan or her colleagues have imagined that by nightfall on another day of death and misery for victims of Nargis, the precious cargo would be grounded just a few kilometres away.

- South China Morning Post (13 May 2008)


____________________________________________________________________________________

I mentioned earlier how relief volunteers were wrangling with the Governement to get visas so that they could come in and help the victims. It just baffles me why they are refusing help at a time when they themselves are struggling to control the crisis.

Looking across the border and we see China whom themselves have the resources to resolve this crisis on their own and yet you see them humbly granting visas to foreign aid workers and graciously opening up their borders to allow even Taiwan airplanes to land directly in Chengdu, delivering aid.

Lives are at stake here and every second's delay mean the lost of a life or two or 35 that would otherwise been saved. This is the time to put aside differences and get down to what is really important here. Anyone still protesting over Tibet now?

It breaks my heart to see the Myanmar Government dragging their feet on this, as if this is exactly their deliberate scheme to let their people die. There were even reports of the Government hindering the relief efforts of their own monks. Yes, the very same monks that were in the stand-off against the Government during the last riot.

Can't the Government just set aside their differences for now and save the people first?

I can see that the Government is pulling all the stops to prevent the monks from gaining even more popularity with the people with their relief efforts. The Government is already very unpopular now and I was wondering if they were to put in every effort to resolve this, wouldn't that allow them to earn back some brownie points from the people?

Mark my words. After this episode, the Junta is going down for sure, as the people will uprise against them. It is only a matter of time.

Since the typhoon, many bloggers have sprung entries asking all to donate to the relief fund.

I am sorry but I am going to pass on this one as I cannot be assured that my aid will reach the hands of the people.

I smell golden taps and peanuts on this one.

Yes, my decision may be a cold one but think about it. If there is a risk of my donation not getting to the destination, then wouldn't it be better if I channel it to China quake relief instead? This is an "either or" kind of a situation.

In my opinion , the Myanmar Governement is refusing to to help themselves. Then why should I help?

Sorry, Myanmar. You're definitely on your own.

p.s. I think ASEAN should be abolished because I have yet to see them actually do anything or producing any results. All I see is a bunch of people from each country sitting around making a lot of noise but not doing a single darn thing.

TGIF

There were times in my childhood when I became so frustrated with things that almost nothing would make it all better. When I would get that way I would lock myself into my room with my mom's old 8-track player and listen to ABBA until the world made sense to me again. The Grease soundtrack was also heavily employed, as well as the theme song to Hawaii Five-O. Now I usually just hole up wherever I can get free refills on beverages and drink Diet Coke until I am ready to add another chapter to my existence.

ABBA is one of my most treasured guilty pleasures in life. I thought it was so beautiful how Frida and blondie blond Agnetha (the other one I so dearly wanted to be) would sing together in harmony. As for Benny and Björn, those two dudes were like Swedish pimps. Who would know that this Swedish supergroup had a hidden agenda to take over the world.

You may joke that they were the inventors of Mentos pop, but did you know that they are the creators of everything super catchy and addicting since the '70s? Yes, it is true. They did unleash Mentos upon us, but that was just the beginning. The sinister plot to rule the world does not stop there. Benny and Frida unleashed their demon spawn (*lol*) Ace of Base upon us in the early nineties with devastating results. Agnetha and Björn decided that they should contribute as well and gave birth to Aqua. It was in these spawns that the seeds of their demise were sown. Not having obtained the secret of immortality, ABBA have not been able to trust their progeny to carry out their diabolical plan into the future, due to Ace of Base's and Aqua's lack of staying power or ultimate coolness.

We have hope in the Scandinavian countries' ever vigilant metal movement to keep ABBA's influence and power in check. This is what I've noticed: It's a war between two extremes in this region. Either you have super happy/catchy groups like ABBA or super downer trip to hell black metal bands like Gorgogoth and Mayhem there. I've fought on both sides of the battle and end up going back to Liverpool with the Fab Four. Every once in awhile, though, I make my way back and see what each side has been up to since the last time we met up. I've recently done my rounds and ABBA is doing OK. They need to watch out for a Finnish band, Insomniom, though. They're evil. Well, it's all evil, really.

Having said that, it is important to note that The Cardigans are not related to ABBA, although some have speculated such. Oh, and glow sticks are the fecal product of all blond-haired and blue-eyed pop princesses.If this post was not up to regular Senorita standards, well, you can chalk it up to me finishing up a project due this morning and running into a super-cool ex boyfriend at the supermarket. Yes, after this event I will be better able to do my monkey chores. I now have a vision and an action plan. Watch out world!


Sunday, May 11, 2008

Reality Bites.

The youngest singers on American Idol last night were born in 1991-1992. They were tasked with singing tunes from the '60s, which would be the same as someone my age singing songs from the '40s.

Just in case you didn't have anything that depressed the SHIT out of you today.

Damn, you're old.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Building Walls

So I've realized that I'm really good at building walls around myself... I do it to keep people at a certain distance. I think I believe I'm trying to protect them from letting me hurt them as I'm fairly certain I often do.

The key drawback to this distance though, is after a while, people find something/someone more interesting to focus on, and they move on, and I end up realizing that I'm the one who's being hurt by abandonment.

I was taking the attention/friendship for granted, and now its too late for me to pull it back in.I do it with friends, I do it with potential romantic partners, I even do it with my family. Time and again, I warn people to stay away, don't let me hurt you, and yet with increasing frequency, I'm the one who ends up in pain when they ultimately take my advice.

When you have a crisis of confidence it becomes so easy to shun the outside world, tell everyone that you're not worthy of their time, of their emotion, of their attention.

But once they grow tired of the negativity, or just find some new person or way to channel their desire to help, you end up as the one who actually finds out that it is a lonely existence, and suddenly you really wish all that attention was where they had tried to send it.

Friday, May 09, 2008

TGIF -



Semalam hanya semalam
Kenangan memanggil-manggil
Pulanglah sayang pada ku
Ku ingin mengubat hati yang rindu

Semasa, dulu ‘pabila
Kita yang masih percaya
Betapa indah bercinta
Ku tanya ‘Mengapa perginya dia?’

Hilang tetapi bagaimana?
Tinggal harapan yang membara
Ku doa agarkan lagu
Menyusuk jiwa mu

Di sebalik mentari pagi
Pasti ‘kan kembali
Izinkan ku menyanyikan lagu ini…

Sudikah engkau menanti
Marilah kita menari
Lupakan hati yang sepi
Semoga semalam selamanya

*

Hilang tetapi bagaimana?
Tinggal harapan yang membara
Ku doa agarkan lagu
Menyusuk jiwa mu

Di sebalik mentari pagi
Pasti ‘kan kembali
Izinkan ku menyanyikan lagu ini…

Sudikah engkau menanti
Marilah kita menari
Lupakan hati yang sepi
Semoga semalam selama-lamanya

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Rejected Hallmark Cards

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am.... (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me .

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go.... (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.... (Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.... (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .

9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday... (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder..... (Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking

11. I'm so miserable without you... (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

12. Thank you for being part of my life..... (Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you!

13. Congratulations on your wedding day!... (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

14. How can I say this.... (Inside card) - Your cooking kills me

15. Hooray..... (Inside card) - You're divorced.

16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened... (Inside card) - Especially since you survived.

17. Congrats on getting married... (Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.

18. Someday I hope to marry... (Inside card) - Someone other than you.

19. We have been friends for a very long time... (Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Some Literature.

I do read a lot. So forgive me if this isn't as intellectual as everyone else's, but that's just how I roll :-)

1) One book that changed your life: Ishmael by Daniel Quinn

2) One book that you'd read more than once: Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen

3) One book you'd want on a deserted island: War & Peace by Leo Tolstoy ~ I figure that if I can’t read it then I won’t ever be able to read it.

4) One book that made you laugh: Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding

5) One book that made you cry: Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

6) One book you wish you'd written: Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden

7) One book you wish had never been written: None as yet but I'm sure it's out there.

8) One book you're currently reading: The River of Lost Footsteps by Thant Myint-U

9) One book you've been meaning to read: I Am A Cat by Soseki Natsume

Friday, May 02, 2008

TGIF

Songs (by female artistes) that will guarantee to get me on the dance floor; and there aren't that many..
1. Mercy - Duffy (video below)
2. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
3. Naughty Girl - Beyonce
4. Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, Mya, Pink & L'il Kim
5. Run Away - Real McCoy

Thursday, May 01, 2008

H is for ...

"Honesty is a selfish virtue." - Gertrude Stein


I've been thinking about this quote a lot over the last couple of days. I'm not entirely sure what she meant by it...

Is it selfish to be honest to those around us, knowing that we have the satisfaction of being certain our genuine feelings and emotions are being conveyed, regardless of their impact? Or is the protection of those we care about more important than the purity of our morals?


In fact, is the choice to protect them selfish, as we take away their option and ability to react and feel? Or is it selfish to demand honesty from those around us, to expect them to uphold some code of respect and morality and represent themselves how they actually are and feel?


Should their role as friends or family require them to be honest with us? And is our expectation of that honesty selfish, and an unfair burden?


I tend to internalize much of what is going on with me, when I do try and express myself genuinely, the people who get that information are few and far between. Recently, the attempt to open up to someone a bit more than our relationship had previously seen, backfired on me, to the possible destruction of our friendship.


I've having trouble accepting that, and my attempts to repair the rift seem to be only opening it further.


Adult communication is so hard...