Lazy weekend ahead.

If I play my cards right, dear Internet, and get a few groceries on the way home, I won't have to leave my house until.....

MONDAY.

I have my TV, wine, cookies, and all my art projects. What more do I need?

In no particular order:

8 things I am passionate about:

good food

writing

equality

animals

music

singing (badly mind you)

art

family

8 things I want to do before I die:

snowboard

climb a huge-ass mountain

learn more languages

learn to paint

relocate to South Africa

run a half marathon

travel more

find peace

8 things I say often:"no way!"

"Oh Aye" - (slap me right now)

"Bastardo"

"shites"

"have you seen my ....."

"I don't understand"

"this place is hip..?"

"Err,sikes..."

"beer? oh yeah"

8 books I have recently read:

Going Postal - Terry Pratchett

Scarpetta - Patricia Cornwell

After Dark - Haruki Murakami

Anansi Boys - Neil Gaiman

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro

The To-Do List - Mike Gayle

Life: Selected Quotations - Paulo Coelho

Dispatches from the Edge - Anderson Cooper

8 songs I could listen to over and over:

Best of You - Foo Fighters

Cry to me - Solomon Burke

Room at the top - Adam Ant

Don't Dream its over - Crowded House

Blue Sky Mining - Midnight Oil

I Choose You - Bindi Blatcher

Dancefloor - Stylophonics

One More Time - Daft Punk

8 things that attract me to my friends:

they are strange-crazy

they make me laugh

they love a good rant

they keep me grounded

they are smart

they teach me things

they offer me support

they accept me

He's Just Not Into You...

This post has nothing to do with the book or the movie: I haven't even read the book, nor have I seen the movie, but I'm thinking that could possibly be an oversight on my part...

How many times do we just ignore the signs? They were there all along, but we convince ourselves otherwise. The power of positive thinking, right? If you believe it is so, then it must be…

My friend Jenn is amazing. She’s super friendly, intelligent and caring. I met her when I was a few years ago at a party. She is several years younger than I am, but that never seemed to make a difference. There was this group of about four of us that became very close friends during our week there. I have since lost touch with two of them – one on purpose – and have sporadic communication at best with the third. I have, however, managed to keep in touch with Jenn.

Despite* how wonderful Jenn is, she’s never been overly popular with men. She has some disabilities, and I could tell they made men nervous during the time I spent with her. It’s not right, but stuff like that does happen.

After Jenn finished her undergraduate degree, she decided to go to Law School. It was there that she met B. Good-looking, rich, popular, he was everything Jenn wasn’t.

And she, of course, fell for him.

In turn, he let her “help” him. With a bunch of his papers for school. Granted, when he got things published, he gave her accolades, but that’s currently beside the point. As they went through law school together, she essentially waited for him. And kept on waiting. She’s determined that he’s really in love with her and either doesn’t know it, or isn’t ready to face it yet. And because she believes she’s in love with him, she’s OK with that.

She used to tell me little things that he’d do or say that would make her go completely gaga over him, simple things that any decent male friend would be saying a female friend. At the time, I tried to gently tell her that I wasn’t as convinced that she and B would end up together as she was, but sometimes there is no convincing a woman in love. (Dang rose-colored glasses and all.)

One of the last full-fledged updates I got from her was in January. In it, she told me about how she’d finally stopped going after B, instead deciding that he was going to have to see what he was missing not having her in his life. As someone who was always around and there for him, he never had a chance to miss her or realize how much she meant to him.

I was proud of her decision when I first heard about it. It’s good to move on and this really would tell if B was into her or not. My hunch was still not, but I hoped I was wrong.

Then she told me she was sure her plan was working – all because of an extra hug out of the middle of nowhere one day.**

It’s so easy for me, someone looking at it from the outside, to say “He’s just NOT that into you.” Why, then, is it so hard for her to see it?

Same reason it’s hard for any of us to see it.

Maybe we don’t want to. Maybe we’re just in denial. Why? Because it’s easier to believe that he cares about us than to realize we fell in love with someone who won’t ever return the feeling. Whatever our individual reasons may be, we’ve all been there before. I just don’t want to do it again, because it’s somehow worse every time I do.

I had a male friend tell me one time “If you give a guy your phone number and he never calls, he’s just not interested. It’s that simple.” ***

You're probably rolling your eyes right now, thinking that's almost too simplistic, of course you knew that, but think back to the last time you met a great guy, thought you meshed well, you gave him your number ... and he never called. Yeah, that's what I thought.

It's that simple... and that complicated.

* Or perhaps because of? That’s a whole other topic for a different post though.

** Granted, B isn’t the hugging type from what she’s told me. So maybe for him to come up to her and give her a hug out of the blue really did mean something. I’m just not totally convinced.

*** We were actually talking about a girl in his life, but I thought the advice fit here.

D is for ... Dog Day

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

If you can't eat it or hump it, then piss on it and walk away.

Valentine.

Friday the 13th.

1. My hard work will sometimes go unnoticed and unappreciated, even though a lack of effort would (most likely) definitely get someone’s attention. But although hard work might not get me the accolades I think I deserve, it does eventually pay off. In some form or fashion. It's not it's own reward, but it is worth the occasional afternoon off.

2. If I eat a 5 lb box of chocolate, I’m going to gain a lot more than 5 lbs.

3. If I really must have those cute pointy-toed shoes, I need to buy them one size bigger, or I won’t be wearing them for long.

4. Don’t look at the size on the label of a swimsuit. Better yet, once I get it home, just cut the tag out.

5. The words “you can’t tell anyone this!” are useless. They always tell. And it always comes back to bite you in the ass.

6. If you never take sick leave, no one questions you when you call in on Monday morning with ‘cramps.’

7. There’s a fine line between ‘cute’ drunk and ‘ugly’ drunk. It’s somewhere between the fifth and sixth margarita.

8. Never dance barefooted, no matter how much your feet hurt in those shoes. If you’re party dancing, you can’t shimmy as well in bare feet and no matter how careful you are, someone will step on your toes. If you’re slow dancing, he will step on your toes. If you’re slow dancing naked at home, bare feet are okay.

9. Club soda will NOT remove a red wine stain from a silk blouse, no matter what anyone tells you.

10. It doesn’t matter if *he* will respect you in the morning. The only thing that matters is if YOU will respect YOURSELF in the morning.

11. Wearing my makeup to bed does not mean I’ll wake up ready to go.

12. No matter what, my first thought when the phone rings after midnight will always be, “Please, God, go away.”

13. Duct tape can function as a bra, in an emergency.

Creeping Changes

This economic stuff is bad. Many people are either losing their jobs, or afraid that they could. Money is tight. People are finally afraid of credit cards.

These are not bad things.

Many of the couples I see who usually fought about money-- using it as one of their flash points, even if it wasn't the real issue they were fighting about, which is usually control, recognition, and who should carry the emotional load -- now they talk about survival.

In some ways people are very tense about making the bills. In some ways people are more relaxed because the pressure to make tons of money, to keep up, to buy more and bigger, is gone. Even the people who have money, have less.

Making tons of money is not trendy any more. It looks bad. If this were France in 1787 all those auto execs, and big bankers would be on their way to the guillotine. There is a lot of popular support for that.

There are signs that things are changing. Having a job seems more important than just making money. How you get your money is beginning to matter again.

May there will even be a return of things like ethics and integrity.Well, let's not get carried away.

C is for ...

Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share.
Being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility

Breathe.

I keep having to remind myself of the need to just breathe.

And just look

and feel

and appreciate

most of the things which need doing will be done

most of them in time

and some of them really don't matter that much after all

and changes at work which have been worrying me will be resolved

one way

or another

and it will be okay

one way

or another

And in the meantime, there is so much in life to enjoy and appreciate

if i can just remember to breathe

and look

and feel

and appreciate.

Eavesdropping.

Overheard:"That's the first time I've ever seen purple paint!" Internal commentary:What kind of hideously sheltered life has not, in over 50 years, involved purple paint?!?

Excuse Me~

I've been noticing more and more that people lack manners. Forget the thank you card. That's obsolete. Holding the door for someone is few and far between. Saying "thank you" and "excuse me" are probably more common but not as much as is warranted. And you can just forget about eye contact. It's probably not gonna happen.

I have a friend (I use that term loosely) who completely lacks the ability to engage people in conversation. He doesn't ask the person he is talking to questions about themselves. Conversations with him either consist of him going on and on about himself or silence unless you ask prompter questions or resort to going on and on about yourself. Once when we were out to dinner with a couple (a husband and wife, the husband being one of his best friends), he sat directly across from the wife, next to me and kitty-corner from his best friend. I swear he hardly looked at her the entire meal while he went on and on and on. Instead, he looked over at his friend and spoke to him, occasionally looking sideways at me but frankly I didn't care if he looked at me because then he'd see how bored I was. I'd heard all his stories and wasn't particularly amused by them the first time I sat through them. Later, I mentioned to the wife how he never looked at her and she just shrugged saying that's how he is. How he is kinda r-u-d-e.

This guy is also a cheapskate- the worst kind of cheapskate. He'll be sure to mention how much money he's been saving up but then never makes a gesture to pick up the tab. Or he'll invite me out to see a movie but by that he means, you buy your own ticket (even if I have covered his portion enough to warrant at least one frigging movie ticket). His friend, the husband I've mentioned, he's a generous guy and often will pick up the tab when we all go out. I'm always surprised and thankful and I offer to pay my way, the tip or to pick up the dessert/the movie/the drinks depending on what we are doing next. I feel it's proper etiquette to offer (and mean it). What do you think?

And what's your biggest peeve with manners?

Sugar High

I'm self-diagnosing but I am pretty sure that I am a sugar addict.

Admitting is the first step, right?

So after some soul searching, I've decided to bite the bullet and enter sugar detox. I've been researching and picking people's brains (smart people with varying views) about it. This week, each day, I've tried to make smart choices. Maybe for the first time in my life I am not seeking perfection, rather I just want to do better.

I know I can do better.

This got me thinking: Why is it that offices are a breeding ground for crap food? It's like we all want to bring in the candy, the cupcakes, the cookies, and homemade breads so it gives us permission to over-indulge. The other day it was a co-worker's birthday and someone brought in cupcakes. It was 3:30pm and I was dying for a pick me up and those stupid cakes were taunting me. Instead of eating one (because really, they didn't look that great and frankly, if they aren't CupCake Chic cupcakes, forget it) I emailed my friend berating the offending cupcakes and bemoaning their hold over me.

I've had a headache since yesterday but I haven't felt as hungry. I feel full before I've eaten my entire lunch. This could very well be the first step I've been looking for. Too bad I timed it with my PMS (ha ha, luckily I don't actually suffer from PMS but it was still fun to taunt them). Awesome fun for everyone within a mile of me. I've told my co-workers I'll stick a warning label on when it gets really bad.

"Warning: Sugar Addict. Day 3 of Detox. Do Not Taunt or Unwrap Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Within 10 Steps of Her."

B is for...

Balance - This will be my "word" for 2009....a little something to focus on...

I need balance in my diet, as well as my schedule of working, exercising, and resting. I need balance in my spending (!) and my volunteering. I need balance in my relationships.

Here are some phrases that I found when I looked around on the internet --

Balance:

physical equilibrium - the ability to retain one's balance
mental and emotional steadiness
a means of judging or deciding
a counterbalancing weight, force, or influence
regulated movement
stability produced by even distribution of weight
an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements
to bring into harmony or proportion, to equalize in weight, number, or proportion
equality between the totals of the two sides of an account