TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:

1. Just make up your mind, and do it.
2. You’re 37; start acting like it.
3. Please finish your degree; you’re almost there!
4. Being skinny is not the most important thing in life.
5. You always want to do things the hard way.
6. The world does not revolve around you.
7. It’s okay to say “no”.
8. I know you’re hurting, but you don’t have to be mean.
9. I DON'T WANT to be around family all the time.
10. You are a selfish, childish bitch, and I don’t like you or feel sorry for you.

V is for ....

..Venting out Loud.

I’m a believer that you get what you give. I think we all have our moments where we feel a need to vent about a situation or person we’re unhappy with. We say things from the gut because it brings out such bad feelings. I think it’s normal to vent. You need to sometimes. I’m human, after all. But whenever I vent, I always end up feeling paranoid that I’m going to pay some sort of price for my feelings.

I don’t think I’m an ugly person inside, but I have guilt issues about most everything. And even when I have bad feelings about someone who has treated me poorly I always worry that by having bad feelings, I’m in turn, a bad person.

I have a good life and in so many ways it seems like it just keeps getting better. So I feel guilty when I complain about something. I want to rise above a situation or turn the other cheek, but there are times when it’s difficult and I wonder if when I do complain, I’m asking for something in return.

Hmmm… I don’t know… it’s one of those questions about life and the universe and it’s hard to say what the answer is.

The High Price of Popularity

Crushing insecurity. Sadly, my self esteem is such that the more people there are who want something from me, the more people I have to worry about disappointing. While it was briefly exhilarating to be wanted by so many, by Monday night I was a raging bundle of insecurity, convinced I was going to fail everyone.

I think I’ll settle for a life of quiet obscurity.

Giving it up.

Did you know about this? Have you heard? I had NO idea - I guess the thought never occurred to me - that US Presidents have to give up cyberspace interaction of ANY sort. Seriously.

Given that the new President-Elect Obama’s savvy online presence, or his campaign team rather, and his love for his Blackberry, do you think he will be able to give it up once he takes office?

Here’s the NY Times article. I suppose it makes some sense that personal contacts and emails and chats and whatnots are going to be scrutinized in whatever way, but, none at all? Cold turkey? Eeeek. I would go through MAJOR withdraw if I just don’t have my computer for a few days. I think most people would. But then again, people have lived and survived without The Internet for millions of years…

*shudders* at the thought of being without any access to being online.

U is for....

... Unusually quiet, that's what I have been. Lately.

I’ve been gone for a while. Life has been busy and exciting and overwhelming. Changes are afoot. Big changes.

The last few weeks have been stressful. Overwhelming. They’ve been the sort of weeks where you have everything and nothing happening all at once. Things move slowly, but the hopes and worries are lightening fast and erratic. There is quite a bit of unknown at the moment. Excitement is mounting, but with with every peak, there is the inevitable slope downward. Sometimes the descent is quick, without warning, leaving you on your own to pick yourself up and check for bruises… and at other times it’s so gradual you barely notice. You find your footing and keep moving without missing a step.

I’m not sure what my outcome will be. I’m slightly terrified.

Choc cake in a Mug

I ran across this recipe while surfing, and I thought it might be worth a try…

"Grab the biggest microwavable coffee mug you’ve got in your cupboard, and cover the inside with cooking spray. Mix up four tablespoons of flour and nine tablespoons of hot chocolate mix, then throw in three tablespoons of water, three tablespoons of oil and one egg. Once it’s thoroughly mixed into an even batter, microwave the whole thang for three minutes on high."

T is for ....

....Thankful

for long strides and strong legs
for focus and determination
for a sharp mind
for sharp knives
for dreams and ideas
for this voice
for 5 months sans alcohol
for coffee
for sleep
for the ability to see things as i do
for friends
for the death of fear
for love
for you.

Feeling Hopeful.

Change IS good.

S is for.....

...Simply Me.

I'm really proud of the friends that I've made. The quality of the people that stand with me in this life, that support my choices, and accept me as I am.

I'm happy that I've haven't broken, succumbed to the wills of others. Sure, it's life; you have to bend a little to fit, but if you bend too much you break. I'm true to myself; I'm more certain about myself now than I was once, and I haven't changed the core essence of who I've always been.

I'm happy with how I've treated others. Sure, everyone at some point has hurt another person, and I have let some people go, but I haven't strung people along. I've never manipulated situations to be with someone, or taken advantage of a situation to get what I personally want - regardless how much I've wanted it.I've seen others lie, cheat, and manipulate their partners - and although in some cases the ends have justified the means (for them), they never will for me.

I'd like to think I'm loyal and honest. I'm not above telling a white lie to protect someone, but if someone asks me something straight up, I'm going to give them an answer. Even if they don't want to hear it. It's a double edged sword, but most people appreciate it.

I speak my mind. When I'm upset, or concerned I tackle issues, even if it seems stupid. More often than not, people are clear on how I view things that I'm passionate about. I pick my battles, and I'm not short on stubbornness when push comes to shove.

I have faith in the goodness of others. I'm not naive to believe every one on this earth is good, but I look to a person's heart, and I'm not often fooled.Most of the time I'm a very positive person. Although it may not always seem the case in what I write here, there is a balance to my life. Perhaps I should write about more positive stuff - but I just tend to live the happy stuff instead :)

I've always been an independent soul. I love people, but I also love to be alone. So many people in this world fear that - but through independence I've come to know myself; my worth, and better yet I have continued to grow as I question myself. I treat my friends as individuals as well - partners, husbands or wives do not exist in my world; If I am your friend it is because of you, and you alone.