Today's Quote.

“They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds.”
~ Winston Churchill

What's the word?

Yesterday, the word "phantasmagorical" was used in a conversation with a friend.

I was told that my friend "lusted after" that word. While I'm not sure that I've ever "lusted" after any single word myself, I definitely appreciate the sentiment.

What is it about words that moves us so easily? As vivid, exciting, or erotic as a picture can be, it is the written or spoken phrase that drives us crazy... the opportunity to use our imagination allows for free travel and fantasy.

While reading the blog board today, several people discussed the dangers of online dating. People have the ability to misrepresent themselves online, because you can get idea an idea of how people are based on their emails and profiles. Yes, their pictures may be misleading, but I would argue that the words they send are the most accurate reflection you'll get. Why base your assumptions on a photo? No one will ever know me based on a picture on a beach, or doing a headstand, or even standing with a celebrity; they'll find out who I am by discovering that I'm a super melodramatic who overuses the ellipsis, and that I twist nearly everything into a double entendre. Isn't that far more useful???

It's why I read all of the other blogs out there... I don't have to know the authors, to know who they are. And I love that.

Not very good at this

Do they have to make your heart skip a beat? Right away? Or is attraction or interest something that can grow as you get to know someone.

I've been fully consumed by the butterflies and weak knees only to have those feelings wane. I've been not-so-interested, only to become more interested. But the latter has never grown to the butterflies. Never become the person I can't wait to see, wait to talk to.

Maybe it's just me. I don't know. But I think there has to be a spark near the beginning, or it won't work. Not in the long term.

You can try to convince yourself that he might be a possibility. The perfectly nice guy that insists on taking you to dinner and concerts. Who opens the door for you. Who says sweet things about your smile. That is interesting to talk to. Who should be the right guy. That his niceness will create more.

But in my (limited) experience that has never been the case. Whether I give it a few dates to spark or over a year. (Yes, I know, save your breath.)

But this time I think it might be me. I am not feeling up to dating. Or constantly putting my best foot forward. To meet new guys, only to go on a date or two and for one of us to lose interest. I'm tired of trying. Does it have to be this hard?

Lazy weekend ahead.

If I play my cards right, dear Internet, and get a few groceries on the way home, I won't have to leave my house until.....

MONDAY.

I have my TV, wine, cookies, and all my art projects. What more do I need?

In no particular order:

8 things I am passionate about:

good food

writing

equality

animals

music

singing (badly mind you)

art

family

8 things I want to do before I die:

snowboard

climb a huge-ass mountain

learn more languages

learn to paint

relocate to South Africa

run a half marathon

travel more

find peace

8 things I say often:"no way!"

"Oh Aye" - (slap me right now)

"Bastardo"

"shites"

"have you seen my ....."

"I don't understand"

"this place is hip..?"

"Err,sikes..."

"beer? oh yeah"

8 books I have recently read:

Going Postal - Terry Pratchett

Scarpetta - Patricia Cornwell

After Dark - Haruki Murakami

Anansi Boys - Neil Gaiman

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro

The To-Do List - Mike Gayle

Life: Selected Quotations - Paulo Coelho

Dispatches from the Edge - Anderson Cooper

8 songs I could listen to over and over:

Best of You - Foo Fighters

Cry to me - Solomon Burke

Room at the top - Adam Ant

Don't Dream its over - Crowded House

Blue Sky Mining - Midnight Oil

I Choose You - Bindi Blatcher

Dancefloor - Stylophonics

One More Time - Daft Punk

8 things that attract me to my friends:

they are strange-crazy

they make me laugh

they love a good rant

they keep me grounded

they are smart

they teach me things

they offer me support

they accept me

He's Just Not Into You...

This post has nothing to do with the book or the movie: I haven't even read the book, nor have I seen the movie, but I'm thinking that could possibly be an oversight on my part...

How many times do we just ignore the signs? They were there all along, but we convince ourselves otherwise. The power of positive thinking, right? If you believe it is so, then it must be…

My friend Jenn is amazing. She’s super friendly, intelligent and caring. I met her when I was a few years ago at a party. She is several years younger than I am, but that never seemed to make a difference. There was this group of about four of us that became very close friends during our week there. I have since lost touch with two of them – one on purpose – and have sporadic communication at best with the third. I have, however, managed to keep in touch with Jenn.

Despite* how wonderful Jenn is, she’s never been overly popular with men. She has some disabilities, and I could tell they made men nervous during the time I spent with her. It’s not right, but stuff like that does happen.

After Jenn finished her undergraduate degree, she decided to go to Law School. It was there that she met B. Good-looking, rich, popular, he was everything Jenn wasn’t.

And she, of course, fell for him.

In turn, he let her “help” him. With a bunch of his papers for school. Granted, when he got things published, he gave her accolades, but that’s currently beside the point. As they went through law school together, she essentially waited for him. And kept on waiting. She’s determined that he’s really in love with her and either doesn’t know it, or isn’t ready to face it yet. And because she believes she’s in love with him, she’s OK with that.

She used to tell me little things that he’d do or say that would make her go completely gaga over him, simple things that any decent male friend would be saying a female friend. At the time, I tried to gently tell her that I wasn’t as convinced that she and B would end up together as she was, but sometimes there is no convincing a woman in love. (Dang rose-colored glasses and all.)

One of the last full-fledged updates I got from her was in January. In it, she told me about how she’d finally stopped going after B, instead deciding that he was going to have to see what he was missing not having her in his life. As someone who was always around and there for him, he never had a chance to miss her or realize how much she meant to him.

I was proud of her decision when I first heard about it. It’s good to move on and this really would tell if B was into her or not. My hunch was still not, but I hoped I was wrong.

Then she told me she was sure her plan was working – all because of an extra hug out of the middle of nowhere one day.**

It’s so easy for me, someone looking at it from the outside, to say “He’s just NOT that into you.” Why, then, is it so hard for her to see it?

Same reason it’s hard for any of us to see it.

Maybe we don’t want to. Maybe we’re just in denial. Why? Because it’s easier to believe that he cares about us than to realize we fell in love with someone who won’t ever return the feeling. Whatever our individual reasons may be, we’ve all been there before. I just don’t want to do it again, because it’s somehow worse every time I do.

I had a male friend tell me one time “If you give a guy your phone number and he never calls, he’s just not interested. It’s that simple.” ***

You're probably rolling your eyes right now, thinking that's almost too simplistic, of course you knew that, but think back to the last time you met a great guy, thought you meshed well, you gave him your number ... and he never called. Yeah, that's what I thought.

It's that simple... and that complicated.

* Or perhaps because of? That’s a whole other topic for a different post though.

** Granted, B isn’t the hugging type from what she’s told me. So maybe for him to come up to her and give her a hug out of the blue really did mean something. I’m just not totally convinced.

*** We were actually talking about a girl in his life, but I thought the advice fit here.

D is for ... Dog Day

Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

If you can't eat it or hump it, then piss on it and walk away.

Valentine.