At the start, everything is fresh and exciting. We can be tolerant of their behaviours, attitudes, reactions as we progress through the discovery phase, provided nothing has offended us thus far. Such as, if they can’t meet with us on a particular time due to shift work arrangements, we accept it as we learn about them and what constitutes their lives.
But once a relationship-friendship is forged, and the initial getting to know you stage has settled, we begin to develop expectations of them. For example, if we’ve shared with them our passion for photography or a tennis match every Tuesday night, we expect to be asked about our interests every so often.And that is when expectations can lead to disappointment.
The period of tolerance is ever so transient before we begin to interpret their behaviour as loss of interest or a change of heart. If we care enough about the person, resentment starts to build over time which can lead to passive-aggressive behaviours.
Simply put… it sucks.Take the communication route and try to find out the reason for their change, and it can be misinterpreted as an accusation. Words can cut like a sword or denial can cause further uncertainty.
Did I say it sucks?Expectations are a part of life and deeper human interactions. Remove them from the relationship-friendship equation, and we are left with apathy, and a shallow pool of acquaintances who don’t enrich our lives.
So what remains is to follow a different path, that of a slow and winding road to withdrawal. And watch the relationship-friendship disintegrate into chunks that eventually crumble into the dust of indifference, disregard and oblivion.Only to be sucked by a Dyson.
Or deleted from the archives. Of the mind. Of email. Of memory. Just as they have.Because in a fit of anger, they no longer matter.
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