Imbalance.

I think Max may be interested in having another cat around the house. I’ve been playing some cat sounds, and no matter where he is in the apartment, he’ll coming running into my room. A second cat is something I only started to consider recently. Last year it felt as if I wouldn’t be able to handle the chores, let alone doubling the annual veterinarian bill. Sometimes he seems lonely though, like when he immediately starts to cry when I walk in the door after a day of work, his protesting only being soothed after picking him up, and being replaced by a low purr. I’ve always seen myself as a one cat person; I think I’d feel a little imbalanced if I had more than one. If I do decide to get one, it will definitely be after I start making more money, and possibly after I can purchase a bigger apartment. It would be more for Max than for me though. I can’t imagine finding another cat that is as well-adapted as he is, so the idea scares me a little.

One time I discussed with G whether he would ever consider getting two dogs. He said that he couldn’t, not just because it would be much harder to handle, but because he would feel more favourable to one or the other.

The idea of favour is one that I haven’t been able to understand. How can parents love all their kids without liking one more than the other, especially when one follows the desires of the parents more closely. It might be something I don’t understand, growing up as an only child. If such a balance is possible, wouldn’t polygamous relationships work as well? I think part of the misunderstanding stems from my confusion of relational love and parental love as well.

For love is the root of my imbalance.