N ....is for Narcissistic Voyeurism

1. I like to have more in my life. Though in retrospect, it is only certain things in my life that I want more of. Mostly abstract things like respect, love and popularity. Of course, I would also want more gadgets, I can't get enough of the cold metallic machines in my life. Neither can I get enough of knowledge. More is good. I believe that the quest for more will always get you what you want in life, if you're willing to pay its price.

2. I procrastinate at an almost pathological level. It's not a bad thing at times, not doing something always leaves me room to think of ways to do it better. I used to try and get things done as quickly as possible, but these days I get things done when they are needed. It doesn't mean I'll miss a deadline, it just means I won't get a heart attack worrying about things when there isn't a need to worry about them.

3. I like to take satisfaction for every little thing that I do. It doesn't matter how small it might be for other people. As long as I know I achieved it on my own terms with my own hands. I like to stand tall and tell the world I know what I'm doing and I look good doing it. It does help in boosting my self-confidence and ego. Things I think everyone needs if they want to get ahead in the world. Some people say that self-praise is no praise at all. I say self-praise is the only praise you can trust to push you forward when the times get tough and there is no one there to prop you up.

4. I tend to want what other people have. It's no real fault of mine. The world is simply too big to think of everything you may need or want for yourself. It doesn't always mean that I want a new computer just because someone I know just bought one for themselves. It also means qualities that other people have are qualities I wish I could have for myself. If it can benefit them, it most certainly can benefit me. It fits in with the first fact about me. While having more is good, you have to start wanting them. I want what you have and I want it badly.

5. While it's not immediately obvious to the plain eye, I am a sexual person. When people talk about sex, drugs and rock and roll, for me at least, sex is my drug and rock and roll. It doesn't always mean the act itself though. The world of sex can be both innocently beautiful as well as decadently depraved. Whether it can be the act of a simple flirt or a full blown seduction. Whether it can be the tender morning afters or the sadistic masochism. It's a world I love because it can be so blissfully rewarding at times.

6. I'm a food person. If you find me in a new place I haven't been before, you can rest assured I'll be indulging myself in the local delicacies. That being said, I'm willing to try eat anything at least once. Fried grasshoppers? Surprisingly good. Sheeps eyeballs? I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. Fugu? That's one extreme sport I have yet to taste. After all, life's too short not to start treating your tastebuds right.

7. I am a very angry person. Angry and frustrated about a lot of things in my life. Mostly the past, but it does carry a little of itself into the present, poisoning it with every touch. I used to have a very short fuse, but I got better in controlling my anger. I don't know whether that's a good thing or not because that anger and frustration has given rise to a seething vindictiveness towards all the wrongs in my life. The only benefit that has come out of it is that the anger has also pushed me to go further than I would have gone before. It brings all my other traits together into a whole. Without it, I don't think I would have had the strength to carry on this far in life, succeeding when others predicted that I would fail. My anger is my strength and I am honored to have it.