Gazing at the Moon,

There are people on this planet who get an idea and work hard to realise it. Others sit on the fence and ponder. Some weigh up options then make informed decisions. Others talk themselves out of a venture due to the fear of losing a comfort zone.

Out of these shooting stars, some get to accomplish their dreams, others who don’t get to revel in success remain undefeated and possibly try again.

When an astute person takes an adventurous step into the unknown, inevitably they ruffle others’ feathers. People’s reactions to their venture are varied, yet they invariably express them in context of bias and diffidence.

There are the naysayers, the I-thought-of-it-before (yet didn’t do it), the la-la-la singers with palms firmly over perky ears, the wise monkey emulators with eyes shut but curiously peeking through gaps in their fingers; pity some do not know how to speak no evil. All act according to personal gain and hidden agendas, eventually passing a judgement that feeds their purpose.

What shines across the galaxy like the Evening Star after sunset are the heartfelt and the genuine, the stellar individuals who may or may not covet others yet wholeheartedly and without prejudice support them in their endeavours.

They are as easy to spot with the naked eye as a full moon in a starless sky.

Trying to figure "Happy" ( again )

I believe they say that happiness is a "state of mind." I don't know who "they" are or what makes them the authority on an emotion that is clearly hard to define.

It has recently come to my attention that I am at a point in my life where I have pulled my head out of my ass long enough to realize that I have been selling myself short. Although I am not sure where I will go from here, it is at least something to think about, and hopefully act upon in the relatively near future.

I have a few questions. Excuse the random thought pattern, I am just thinking "out loud."

How does one incorporate what they love into their career? "Live what you love." It's a statement that I have been struggling with these past few years.

I want to be more creative, and I want to do so in an environment that makes me some dough.

I'm not looking to "get rich", I am just looking to make a living at something that I love to do.

The funny thing is, I am not exactly sure what that is. I mean, I love to write, I love to cook, and bake, and decorate. I have been told I am a great salesperson, "people person" blah blah blah...corporate bullshit...etc. So, how do I take these talents and make them work for me in the capacity I want them to work. Does that make sense?

Then I look at the things I have been through. I have overcome this obstacle of R.A in my life that I feel is just staring me in the face screaming, "DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT STUPID! Take what you know, and share it with the world! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

How can I incorporate what I have learned in a medium to help others, which will in turn give me a career that will fill this void I believe is missing in my life. Or, am I just crazy and selfish, and taking for granted the opportunities that I have now?

So many of us are stuck in the 8 to 5 jobs that we have mediocre feelings for at best. Just think about it...40 hours a week for the next 30-or so odd years is a lot of time, and a HUGE chunk out of my life. Why should I settle with anything less than what makes me feel like I am utilizing all of my potential?

Am I merely basking in the comfort of a salary and predictability as a means to float by, pay my bills in a timely manner, and ensure that I have proper health care?

Because if I am, that's bullshit. Plain and simple.

I just called myself out...Which hurts a little...Damn, I can be tough on myself.

Anyway, what I am searching for right now is a little guidance. Possibly some direction, a way to go...Some words of wisdom, or maybe just a swift kick in the ass.

Discuss amongst yourself, and feel free to clue me in on the mystery if you so desire.

*The above picture of my dog's asses was an accident that turned out to be one of my favorite pictures. Sometimes the unintended things in life can turn into a "happy accident." I just wish I could stumble upon a few more of them right now.

Reference: 9XX19XXX

Dear Frigging Help Desk/Call Center People,

You should seriously consider changing your name. The word ‘help’ is soooo last century and so over-rated when you can’t even help yourselves get out of a tight spot. Unless your ‘desk’ needs ‘help’ balancing your empty coffee cups, bags of chips, M&Ms and 2 minute noodles.

Obviously they are not paying you enough to think. Regurgitating outdated information that is readily available on your computer screen does not solve a problem. I could have sworn I was conversing with an automated service that was coughing up excerpts copied and pasted from some manual. I already have RTFM*!!!

Sure I’ve been battling with different customer service personnel during the last couple of days. And, yes I’m grumpy. And I’ve cussed and cursed and F keyed then gave up in disgust only to get up in the morning and repeat the above. I know too well that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is a sign of insanity, but that gives me ample justification to take it out. On you.

And while we’re talking tired clichés and old buzz words, see, I can regurgitate too, let me remind you of an oldie but a goodie, so passé you probably weren’t even born then. The customer is always right. And that gives me ample rights to waste your time then kick your arse, well, just because I feel like it.

All the best. You need it.

The Choices that People Make.

What makes people choose the paths they walk? What is it that makes anyone decide which way to take in a fork in the road? What makes someone turn right when clearly they were signalling left? The human mind is a complex thing. We spend the rest of our lives believing that we have a choice, never knowing or understanding the reason behind the choices we make.

In that ignorance…we are forced to walk the path we are already walking without any way of turning back…anyway of true choice. That is the illusion in which we all thread upon. Ignorance in the belief we can make a choice. We see it everyday. People trapped in the concequence that they created. From the tasks we do, to the love we give, to the life we choose.

We couldn't possibly make a choice at that moment because the options are already closed. We're only living out the concequence of something we probably decided a long time ago. Once the choice has been made, then we can only wait for it to be played out…not immediately…but in time the full extent of those actions will be revealed. That's why the choices we make are illusions. That's why we spend our lives saying we have no choice.
We've already made our choice a long time ago. Now we're just playing it as it is supposed to be played. Anything else are just extras.

Why do we always take the road that ends in death? When we have a choice to shape our will as long as we draw breath.

Dark Angry Clouds

Far too many people go through life with clouds of anger over their heads, waiting for the first chance to strike at others. Be it is road rage, angry help desk calls, endless unresolved complaints or being undermined at work, people are often on edge, ready to hurl abuse and violence towards others.
There can only be one reason. They are not getting enough sex.

This week I had the misfortune of enduring a nasty situation where an irate woman continuously spat venom at me and refused to allow me to speak. The result was a shouting match where I had no choice but to stoop to her childish tactics by yelling over her voice like the hormonal witch she was, which only served to irate her further.It wasn’t a work situation. It wasn’t a pram pusher getting a vantage spot at a crowded café – though it happens – or a 4WD/SUV driver hogging the road. She claimed to be in charge and when she realised she had been incompetent in her actions, she resorted to yelling at me, the customer, who had invested a substantial sum in the company’s product.

I hated having to retaliate by copying her behaviour. I despised her existence for bringing out the worst in me. I was furious at the cloud of anger she had passed onto me when I carry clearer skies. Though I yelled over her voice and finished by belittling her position in the company, I did not resort to name calling. But my fist was in the air and my inner bitch was shouting, “Fuck you!”, all for a good reason.

There are merits in giving someone the finger, and yelling out the ubiquitous insult. Not only for the feel-good retaliative factor but you could be doing them a favour by passing on the right message. Have sex. And have more sex. And if you’re not sure what is enough, then have some more you f@$%^&* idiot sh%^&*of a b(&^%$#!!!
Nothing like a good prick to that bubble of anger over their heads to give them the release they so desperately need.

Defining Love.

What is love to most people? A criteria met? An urge? A liking? A soulmate found? What is it that most people relate to when they find love? The other night, J referred to someone who had a whole list of criteria for the man she would love and plainly states of course she's worth it all. Not to say she isn't worth it, but maybe it's just philosophical ideals in love which makes me wonder what that person is really looking for in a relationship.

It just occurs to me that with all the things she laid out for…you can easily find it in a friend too not just a lover. I just find it hard to understand that love could mean just that to that person. Its logical yes…but since when is love ever logical. What if she finds a person that complements her personality completely… a soulmate if you will… but he is not contented with money and would rather donate than live a life of luxury. Could she sacrifice her ideals for it? Could she love a man who would sacrifice himself for the benefit of others?

Or what about a man who's beliefs oppose hers or at least isn't the same, yet he has a kind soul living his life based on principles that would make the dalai lama seem cruel? Could she then find a way to see past that criteria?

So it goes back to the beginning? What is love to her? She states the criteria in which she looks for a man…yet fails to state what that man would mean to her. If a man does everything in his power to strive for perfection, then what is she to him? What would he be to her? Just saying that nothing good comes without a price. What that price would be can be more important than the foundation she laid before her.

I guess its good to have a goal you can work up to. If she realises that sometimes you got to sacrifice ideals for the next best thing that comes along, then thats even better. But as much as we wait for the perfect somebody to come and sweep us off our feet. It just pays to be careful that we don't set ourselves for a big disappointment.

Choose Starbucks.

Choice. What is choice? (Yes, I am still on this case) To most of us it is simply the act of picking out alternative courses of decisions and actions. We believe that by giving ourselves a choice we are perpetuating our own freedom in life…that our life is controled by our own actions.

But the choices that we know are just illusions.

We would think that by making choices at least we won't feel so bad when we have no where to go, but the truth is choice are here for one thing. To offer something that would make our otherwise boring lives more interesting than it already is. Half the time we don't know why we have choices. The worst part is…given everything we have today...

Choices really mean nothing to us.

When you think about it…in the end…most actions that you come across will be the one you pick for being you. That "choice" of yours is a mere reflection of the person you are. More often than not…unless someone gives a second opinion, you're going to be doing the first "option" you thought off.

Not much of a choice now is there?

We are slaves to our indecisiveness and lack of self. We like to believe that our own choices are keys to escape the mundane existance of otherwise boring repetition. How could we ever know what we want for ourselves when we don't know who we are anyway? How could you expect to make a choice when you don't know what you want in life, who you are in life?

Fortunately for us civillisation has given us the solution to our problem with indecisiveness.
Starbucks.

That's right. When you come to look at it this way. This consumeristic cancer has given people with no decision making ability to make 5 to 6 different decisions to buy one cup of coffee. Decaf, Tall, Short, Latte, Grande, Mocha, Double Expresso…and the list goes on and on. So people who don't know what they are doing or don't know who they are…can, for 10 bucks not only get themselves a drink but also an absolute defining sense of self.
Does that make any sense to you?

I don't know. It makes sense to me.

So the next time you go to Starbucks or something like it. Take a moment to look through the horrendous amount of choices it gives you and ask yourself.

It this really what I want?

Go figure!

The Choices that People Make.

What makes people choose the paths they walk? What is it that makes anyone decide which way to take in a fork in the road? What makes someone turn right when clearly they were signalling left? The human mind is a complex thing. We spend the rest of our lives believing that we have a choice, never knowing or understanding the reason behind the choices we make.

In that ignorance…we are forced to walk the path we are already walking without any way of turning back…anyway of true choice. That is the illusion in which we all thread upon. Ignorance in the belief we can make a choice. We see it everyday. People trapped in the concequence that they created. From the tasks we do, to the love we give, to the life we choose.

We couldn't possibly make a choice at that moment because the options are already closed. We're only living out the concequence of something we probably decided a long time ago. Once the choice has been made, then we can only wait for it to be played out…not immediately…but in time the full extent of those actions will be revealed. That's why the choices we make are illusions. That's why we spend our lives saying we have no choice.
We've already made our choice a long time ago. Now we're just playing it as it is supposed to be played. Anything else are just extras.

Why do we always take the road that ends in death? When we have a choice to shape our will as long as we draw breath.