2008

It's the first day of a brand new year. I usually look back in retrospect on the last day of the outgoing year, but unfortunately 2007 was downright ugly and for the most part of it was not worth mentioning. Three people, whom were very dear to me, suddenly passed away; and for that my heart will bleed on slowly. My heart was broken by a man whom I was certain was my soulmate; and for that my heart still cannot heal. My best friend betrayed my trust in her, and for that I must learn to slowly forgive.

For a change, I will look towards the endless possibilities of what 2008 has to offer, I will be thankful for the wonderful friends (my unlikely pillars of strength - Aud, SY, Paul) who continue to stand by me through thick and thin, for the ones who were unexpectedly there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry (Sanj) . I am grateful for the new people who have entered my life by chance and made it somewhat bearable. To the long lost but recently reunited friends I once felt an affinity for, welcome back. It feels as if you had never left.

During the course of the year 07, I had felt somewhat schizophrenic, as if there were several versions of me in the same body, experiencing emotions that were producing different end reactions. Having drastic high-lows day in day out, I was constantly and thoroughly exhausted. Mentally, I was incapable of envisioning the light at the end of the emotional tunnel. Physically, I was just going through the motions of having some semblance of life.

But Life is truly short, and in order to lead a fulfilling life, one should break the rules ever so slightly, practise forgiveness readily, laugh uncontrollably, love unconditionally and never ever regret anything that brought a smile to your lips. So here I am, standing resolute to recollect the optimism and the spirit of life that I once possessed. I need, I must, I will! And once again, this is Chapter One.